When the Iraqis tell us they are ready to stand up.

When Bush declares we are ready to stand down.

When every Iraqi child is well versed in the new constitution.

When every Iraqi child is well versed in the Koran.

When Iraqi men standup courageously. …well, like men.

When Iraqis throw us out.

When the American people throw out the neo-cons.

When Zarqawi throws out the towel from his spider hole.

When Saddam is finally sentenced to death.

When Ayatollah Sistani tells us to leave, and thanks us on behalf of Iran.

When US troops discover there is no plan.

When the next generation of Iraqis is privileged to stick its collective middle finger in the ink and wave it to the TV cameras.

When burqas become the prevailing Baghdad fashion for women and terrorists.

When secular Iraq is completely eradicated.

When oil is in the hands of Exxon.

When beheadings become the horrors of the past.

When UN peacekeepers in Iraq are predominantly made up of an Arab coalition in 2020.