Constructive gadfly
Published on December 8, 2005 By stevendedalus In Current Events

I caution farmers and those with lap tops boarding a plane when under the influence. They could trigger an air marshal if they slur their words or act cavalier: he could mistake “I’m heading for my farm” for “...bomb.” Or a frustrated Laptopper might grimace to a fellow passenger and blurt, “This damn laptop is a bomb.”


Comments
on Dec 08, 2005
Be careful with speech too, as in this movie's da bomb!
on Dec 08, 2005
"She sure is a pistol!" could be misheard as "She sure has a pistol!"
on Dec 08, 2005
Be careful with speech too, as in this movie's da bomb!


Great!
on Dec 08, 2005
"She sure is a pistol!" could be misheard as "She sure has a pistol!"


Son of a Gun!
on Dec 08, 2005
"C'mere, boy, and I'll give you a whoopin'!"

Could be "C'mere, boy, and I'll give you a weapon!"
on Dec 08, 2005
This has always been the case.

Don't use security-threatening words lightly, in security-sensitive situations.

Besides, just using the word would only trigger the Air Marshal to tell you to calm down and clarify what you meant.

To get the full Air Marshal Treatment, you'd need to repeat the word bomb multiple times, move around when ordered to be still, attempt to avoid the Air Marshals who are trying to remain in contact with you, and making threatening gestures that imply your willingness and ability to kill large numbers of people.

I mean, you have to work pretty hard to get an Air Marshal to actually kill you.

Mostly, they'll just take you aside and make your life miserable for a few hours--probably causing you to miss your flight--as punishment for being an asshat.
on Dec 08, 2005

If you board a plane and see yoru friend Jack, dont yell out "Hi, Jack!".

on Dec 08, 2005

"C'mere, boy, and I'll give you a whoopin'!"
Be kind to your kids on flight, eh?

I mean, you have to work pretty hard to get an Air Marshal to actually kill you.
aw, shucks

dont yell out "Hi, Jack!".
A classic!

on Dec 08, 2005
be sure to take your meds...or marry a woman with a loud, loud voice in the event she needs to clarify your situation (by yelling somethin like 'he don't have no bombs or weapons...just a broken brain').
on Dec 08, 2005
'he don't have no bombs or weapons...just a broken brain').
excellent advice