Constructive gadfly
attempt at humor
Published on October 27, 2004 By stevendedalus In Humor

Dear Gabby,

I am a blogger and write what I assess as fairly good articles; but my fellow bloggers apparently disagree because they never stop by my site to see how I’m doing. Please help.

Frustrated Blogger

Dear Frustrated:

If you ain’t writing about sex, you ain’t blogging!

Dear Gabby,

I’m a contributor to a site that’s predominantly conservative; however, the owner generously allows me to write my tear-jerking liberal epistles because his conservative colleagues delight in making a fool of me via their comments. In the heat of the election, though, they’ve paid no attention to me; they ignore me as they would a liberal political ad. How can I get their attention?

Bleeding Heart

Dear Bleeding Heart:

If you want attention during elections, you damn fool, stop bleeding, sign your blogs with the flag and join them!

Dear Gabby,

I’ve just joined a blog site that has a point system; I got fifteen points for my blog. To my delight practically everyone left a compliment worth five points  each just to say “welcome.” As a result, I got a grand total of 515 points. When I wrote my second blog thanking the hundred that welcomed me, 150 responded, “your welcome” or “don’t mention it.” I now have a grand total of 1280 points. My question is should I write again thanking them?

Thank You.

Smiley Face

Dear Smiley Face:

Unless you want to reach the top of the point list, I suggest you change your name and stop thanking them! And don’t bother to write me back thanking me, either!

Dear Gabby,

I am the most notorious blogger on my site because I’m the meanest and dirtiest. But my colleagues just love to be even meaner and dirtier in their reactions to my articles. Now, don’t get me wrong I love all the attention, but even for me it is difficult to keep pace with their meaner and dirtier tricks. Should I try now to be Mr. Nice Guy?

Bill O’ Bilely

Dear Bill Bile:

Don’t you dare change your character just to be loved — your readers will begin to think you’re gay. If you think you get attention now , wait till the love freaks jump on the keyboard and shower you with saccharin comments that will turn your stomach and your natural bile will be sugary mush. Hang in there — be tough and cruel. To keep up the pace read Nietzsche and von Sacher-Masoch to rejuvenate your nasty disposition.

Copyright © 2004 Richard R. Kennedy All rights reserved. Revised: October 27, 2004.

http://stevendedalus.joeuser.com


Comments
on Oct 27, 2004
! Very wickedly funny, steven. *I hope I'm not one of your Dear Gabby bloggers!*
on Oct 27, 2004
I absolutely love it!
on Oct 27, 2004
Hahahahhaha! Hillarious...and oh, so true!
on Oct 27, 2004

*I hope I'm not one of your Dear Gabby bloggers!*
No way, you are a chosen gem of the site--now with Wise Fawn,...well, she's the gadfly of the site.

Justice, thanks! Great feeling to laugh at ourselves.

 

on Oct 27, 2004
Very humorous! I too hope I am not a "dear Gabby" blogger, though I suppose I am... but there is no way I am writing about sex.
on Oct 27, 2004
That was great steven. Very funny stuff. Thanks for the post.

(mumbles off to his blog to make sure he hasn't committed any of the above sins)
on Oct 27, 2004
I am writing about sex.
You better not; I wouldn't let you!
(mumbles off to his blog to make sure he hasn't committed any of the above sins)
Now, that's funny!
on Oct 27, 2004
You better not; I wouldn't let you!


aww why not?
on Oct 27, 2004
Damn, always the gadfly, never the gem.
on Oct 27, 2004
Damn, always the gadfly, never the gem.


only to some...
on Oct 27, 2004
No way, you are a chosen gem of the site--now with Wise Fawn,...well, she's the gadfly of the site.


he he he . . . I'm a "gem."

BTW . . . I adore you, Wisefawn. You are so brave and passionate, and I admire that very much.
on Oct 27, 2004
Oh, you guys are so very sweet. Thank you.
Texas Wahine-I adore you, as well. You certainly don't lack in passion or bravery. And you're a very talented writer. It's very nice to have you on my vote Bush out blog. I just peeked at it and I'm deciding if I want to comment tonight or in the morning. I think since I'm tired and I want to look at that eclipse some more, I'll wait till morning.
on Oct 28, 2004
aww why not?
You're still a baby!