1) Barry Bonds will retire when

a. hits 850, b.800, c. turns to flab, d. goes to prison.

2) The next President of the USA will be:

a. Clinton, b. Giuliani, c. F. Thompson, d. Obama.

3) Britney Spears will

a. shave her head again, b. continue to perform badly, c. be booed off the stage and into the fat farm, d. lose weight and get her act together.

4) Petraeus

a. is a delusional optimist, b. doesn’t really believe the surge is working, c. distrusts Bush, d. will be Iraqi commander indefinitely until some time into ’09.

5) The Democrats

a. will finally get its troop withdrawal time table, b. cave in once again to the war party, c. obtain enough votes to appropriate funds for withdrawal only, d. will be the minority party in ’09.